It's a lot, I know

This post may be a non-sensical rambler. I've had 50 posts started in my head since the new year, and none of them have made it to the keyboard. And as much as I've longed to share, I've been doing therapy of a different kind.

You guys. This book is amazing.

I've been slowly savoring every sentence, and I haven't dared to speed-read once. There is so much there to love. I've wanted to share with you a hundred quotes, but I could message that every 2 minutes. Today's gem:

"Thanks makes now a sanctuary. And I take my vows: I will not desecrate this moment with ignorant hurry or sordid ingratitude. I will be Jacob and I will name this moment the 'house of God.'"

I have a love-hate relationship with hurry and time and 24 hours. I hate being rushed because I don't think well in those moments. But I love the results of a flurry of activity. Still, there's rarely the feeling of pure joy even in those moments where I have accomplished everything on the to-do list - unless some of those moments came with God-centered focus. In this chaos, I rarely stop to discover where He is. I may usher a rapid-fire thanks when something goes unexpectedly well, but I forget to thank in every moment.

So that's where I have been the past couple of weeks. Stopping in the moments. Filling my head and heart with thanks. I have had to re-train my brain to do this. How sad that it doesn't come naturally.

Yet.

And here's we we come to the rambling part of the post ...

Other posts I've not written, but will in short bursts now:

I love watching my kids grow up.

How we survived our Disney vacation.

An update on my 40-by-40 list.

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At half-past 11 and half-past 9, the kiddos are blowing me away with their mini-adultness lately, and I love it. I can relate to this stage so much more than to the toddler one, which I swear I barely survived. Of course, this stage brings it's own challenges, especially for the girl variety. Maybe I say that because I was her not that long ago (really, it wasn't that long, was it?). I doubted myself and my abilities. I had many worries. I had many not-so-confident moments.

I still do. Double ugh. But I don't want that for them. I am evaluating what my actions are teaching them. Here's what I want to do:

Teach them to be brave.
Teach them to be honest, real.
Teach them to Let it Be (words I am testing out for a tattoo).
Teach them that relationships aren't perfect, but forgiveness is.
Teach them that moving on is OK.
Teach them that there's more to life than just here, but that contentment is living the now.
Teach them to dream. Big ideas are good.

You all know I am not really there yet, right? But I will try because they are worth it.

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Disney was GREAT! It's a big trip, people. Lots of planning, walking, scheduling, maneuvering, and strategy. So, really, not a lot of relaxing. But the folks at Disney go out of their way to make this place magical, and it's really a good idea to take advantage of as much of it as possible if you aren't going back soon. I don't think we are? Who knows that the next few years will bring - a lesson in non-planning that I am quickly embracing.

Trip highlights: Swimming outside on Christmas Day; Sam braving her first big roller coaster; Peyton braving every single roller coaster he could, with deep belly laughs; having a ton of family together in one place!; seeing cousins we haven't seen in too long; watching the kids connect with new family members; experience Christmas moments all around us for days and days ... and then feeling like it was summer the other times.

A few of my favorite photos:

these were the only characters Sam really wanted to
meet, and the lines were outrageous. so we hovered
nearby to catch a glimpse. her face was priceless.

my fave ride. me and my little bro, with Scott and Peyton in the front.
face of fear before we went down was, again, priceless. that was
my face of fear, by the way. ahem.

universal does an amazing job of recreating movies in real life.
this Grinchmas display made my Christmas.

and if you go there, you really need to see this.
it's like being in a Harry Potter movie. as Peyton often says,
"awesomesauce."

i didn't expect to love animal kingdom as much as I did.
best food and favorite rides. amazing scenery.

watch out world, here we come! at least we didn't all
have matching t-shirts. (but i totally see the value.)

no caption required. 

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I'll make this one quick. A little more progress on the list, with much more scheduled already. I know it doesn't seem like I've gotten too far, but I am moving right along.

9. Christmas Eve gift opening. This was a first-ever at our house (as the Santa thing has been revealed), and something we had to do since we got up at oh-dark 3:30 am to drive to Florida from Tennessee on Christmas Day. It was a nice evening. I would do it again, although I still prefer Christmas morning.

10. Christmas in Disney. Need I say more?

11. First-ever quiet New Year's Eve. We rolled into town around 7:30 pm that evening from Tennessee and did literally nothing but order pizza and unwrap ourselves from our 20 hour sitting position from two days of driving. But this solitude was just the way we needed to begin the year. I even read a few verses of scripture before going to bed. All-in-all, probably a good start (although I missed my friends!)

12. Ice skating lessons anyone? In two weeks, these begin. I promise a photo or two of the embarrassing moments. A long-time friend suggested this to me as a way to mark something off the list that both of us wanted to try! Met the instructor the other day, and I can tell we will all get a long superbly!

13. First time being a telecommuter. Although I have split my time at work between working in the office and working from home for several years now, I am going to try working from home all the time. Many reasons for this, but hoping to successfully do this without missing adult time or going looney in my house. (Work isn't far away, so plenty of moments to be rescued should I need to see my peers.) Forever grateful to work for the chance to try this out.

That's all for now, much more on the way. Better be - only 3 more months till I exit my 30s!

Being new

The sky is the lightest hint of pink this morning. Baby blue streaks poke through, and the winter white that blankets the ground makes the whole thing look soft and wonderful.

If it's going to be cold, let it at least be beautiful.

It's also the perfect type of morning for this:

I am not one to make a list of resolutions, and when I do, I'm not one to stick with them long. I like to keep my plans somewhat vague, which goes against every goal-setting dialogue I've ever heard. So this year I have put a few specific goals into place. But I can sum them up as such:

More gratitude. Much, much more.

Less selfishness. Much, much less.

And more room for God to move. Infinitely more. My goal is to simply get out of the way, and act when I know I'm supposed to act.

This is hard for me. I haven't unlocked the formula that shows me which steps to take, and when to sit. In a moment of decision, I freeze. I need time to process and listen. In a world that moves at lightning speeds, I don't always have that luxury.

But - more often than not - I do have mornings like these. That helps.

Another stumbling block is my obsessive need to know what's mapped out for me. To follow sequences, plans. To know the next step. While my heart desires a life of witnessing miracles and being part of change, my head seeks only sure-things.

But maybe not in 2014.

Right now, I relish in not knowing all the answers but in discovering them. My mind is open to change, to exploring. I caught myself the other day planning my next step - when the children are this age and when we have this amount of money. I realized how foolish I sounded to God.

As if I made the plans.

As if I knew what was best.

As if.

Already, in the short 3 days of this bright new year, I have let a few situations go. God knows better. He knows more. This book has helped - a reminder that if I take the quiet moments to read and connect, I can act with more confidence, in more faith.

Wishing you an inspiring, awe-creating, blessed, and truly "new" new year.

A very merry Christmas to you all!

Well, here's a first.

My husband is going to blog.

Sort of.

He loves to write the annual Christmas letter, and in the interest of making life easier and not having additional paper to print and fold, I've asked him to write his letter here.

If you're visiting for the first time, I'm glad you're stopping by. Come back again soon!

Without further ado ...

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The Annual Schumann Family Greetings!

by Scott Schumann, aka Dad, Hubby, Senor, Coach, and any other particular name you may call him

Hello all, and Merry Christmas to everyone!!  It's yet another time of reflection for a year's worth of fun, trials, and above all praise to God for everything. I was just reminded today that just because we don't get our prayers answered the way would answer them, God sees our entire life from beginning to end and thus his ways are often not ours. So we need to be patient and never lose faith. Over the course of the year we have seen the following:

Peyton: Is now in 3rd grade. He stopped karate and focused on basketball, baseball and his love, football. His dream is to be a n NFL quarterback. Obviously I've stopped contributing to any retirement fund, because by age 9 foreseeing him in the NFL is evident. :) We had a ton of fun this year including snow fort building, sledding, multiple fishing trips, family camping, man camping (no girly decorations nor utensils), fantasy football, etc ... He still loves wrestling with dad and playing football in our living room. His love for electronics is scary, although I'm honestly a fan of Minecraft. They should have it in the schools. He is continuing with basketball through early winter after a late fall season. He's very excited about this, and it has assured us some Culver's runs in the process. For that reason alone, I love basketball. :)

a glimpse at January through May

Samantha: Now in 5th grade. She changed from cheer to gymnastics. I LOVE what gymnastics does for her mind and body. She focuses well and her strength is amazing! I continue to hope that some day she'll gravitate towards volleyball, but she avoids it more than I do onions, tomatoes, peppers....never mind. She continues to love reading and writing. The creativity in her blows me away!  It's refreshing to read stories instead of some of the things high-schoolers write. Sam also loves crafts and is mastering the violin. She is growing at a fast rate and will most certainly pass Kathy up by by the end of this coming summer. She is such a strong, intelligent beautiful girl that I thank God everyday for.

Kathy:  Besides running our entire house, she has volunteered numerous hours to helping others.  She just finished up a program called Spirit of Giving, which collected and then gave out presents and food to over 400 families in the Sun Prairie school district. She is truly a blessing to me and others. God knew what he doing when he brought her into the world. She still continues to run, and, no, not from me. She completed a good number of races and even ran with me for the Crazy Legs run (although much faster).  She has many so many great friends, truly loves all of them. I have never seen a person so often make time to meet up with soooo many people. I think she gets more than 24 hrs a day to work with.

June through December

Me: Per usual, my life revolves around coaching volleyball and track and going to the kids' activities. I also took some students to Costa Rica again this year. Track was successful, getting 4 kids to state. Volleyball had their best season ever at 29-8. Now club volleyball starts and I'm blessed with good, positive kids. As stated earlier Peyton and Sam are in many things, especially in the summer( as I'm sure is common with many of you).  I've realized that smaller cars getting great MPG are essential at this stage in my life. I've also realized how soon I'll wake up and be celebrating my 70th birthday, with no idea how it went so fast.

It is soooo important to make sure we spend time with those who mean the most and have a job that we love doing.  God has blessed us tremendously and I pray that we stay grateful and never become expectant of his grace. I do wayyyy too many dumb things to live a life without Him and the blessing of such a wonderful wife and kids, not to mention such great friends and family!! We now hunker down for a 5 month period of sub-freezing temperatures, clothing that lets us get away with eating more than is necessary, and incessant shoveling ... ahh winter! We hope you get to celebrate these holidays with those you love and please don't hesitate to call us. We all know I don't know how to use my phone, so call Kathy instead :)

Getting ready to give

Dropping in a for a quick update. More to come soon, but for now I am revving up for a big ole fun week of giving Christmas presents to roughly 1,200 kids (425 families) who were sponsored by their neighbors in Sun Prairie.

This is one of the best things I have ever been involved in. Seriously great, and only getting better. I am psyched for this week, and grateful to share the experience with so many other wonderful hearts. I love these people.

So it will be good, and there will be stories and pictures and all that other wonderfulness. But do pray for all to go well, as we're trying a new pick-up system this year. Always an adventure here.

This past week was chock-full of fun-ness, including a holiday party, Christmas at the in-laws, a state gymnastics meet, basketball game, hanging out with friends, a few reality-checks, and this little ditty:

never thought I would tote a sewing machine
around on a visit to a friend's place. we even made a real project!

Yep, this was another check-off on the 40-by-40 list.

8. Learning to sew

I have a good friend who dabbles in sewing, and despite her claims not to be an expert she helped get me and another friend off the ground running with our machines. Love it! Actually, my machine is Sam's, but she hasn't used it much because her momma didn't know how to thread the darned thing.

Until now.

I am looking for small projects to make that could be part of a charity giving effort - something easy Sam and I could do together. Anyone know of anything we could tackle?

The snow is falling, my laundry is calling, and I need to whip up a lasagna. Be back soon, enjoy the week!

A spirited start to the holidays

I was planning to write this post last week. Along with another one that never got past the first few lines. Sometime between last Monday and today, my week zoomed into "epic" mode and I am only now in full recovery. And while I try to reserve Sunday nights for family time, I felt the need to escape to the blog and make sense of my thoughts.

So here we are. How are you?

It was a good, long weekend that started Wednesday when the school week ended. I don't even remember what I did that day, but I know it had something to do with Thanksgiving meal prep and attempting to organize a Christmas list so I could make some responsible decisions when it came time to shop later in the week.

Or not.

The weekend-and-then-some included some good old fashioned fun. Not pictured is family in town, Badger-game watching, movie-going (2 times in one week!), and a rousing game of Fauxcabulary that had us all, kids included, peeing our pants.

in line to get into target; the xmas village is up; fire truck parade-goers; a boy and his turkey leg; my first berbee

It was good, and I am incredibly thankful. Sitting deep in my thoughts is the post I meant to do last week, when I was inputting a number of families into the Spirit of Giving program database (Sun Prairie community activity where we sponsor local kids for Christmas). A number of the forms completed by the applicant families had handwritten notes of appreciation and reminders that their children would be happy just to get anything at all.

All I could think about was the stories behind these lives.

Did a spouse recently lose their job? Is that a new child this family is fostering? Are they asking for boots because they don't have any? Is this a single mom? Did they get Christmas presents last year? 

Are they feeling the warmth, excitement, and peace my kids are feeling right now as we decorate our home?

In my life, I've been judgmental and have lacked empathy. I have been quick to assume. I've been frustrated and have been less-than understanding. If running this annual program has taught me anything, it's that I never know the full story. Really, I don't need to. I just need to love and show kindness to kids who may struggle in their life situations. This much I can do.

And it feels good to do something.

Speaking of that, let me transition to the other post that was-to-be. I've gotten a little further on "doing something" in accomplishing items on my 40-by-40 list. I wanted to share because some of you have been busy coming up with ideas for me, of things you can do with me, and that totally makes my day.

So let me catch you up. I've been cruising right along, although at some point I might need to cruise faster.

4. Try a beer from each state.

This idea came from a dear friend who knows that I like to try different food and drinks. So far, we have sampled from six states and are forming recommendations. We hear that this will be hard to accomplish fully, as Hawaii doesn't import their beer. So, if anyone is going soon, we need to put in an order!

5. Switch up the Thanksgiving fare.

I know. This one isn't terribly creative but all of our holidays are going to be a little different between now and my birthday (more to come on this!) so I thought I would try a few new recipes this time around. Kids were surprisingly not fond of the homemade mac and cheese, leading me to the conclusion that there really is no pleasing the 11 and under crowd. A new try was a cranberry dip that I will definitely make again. It was also the first time I brined a turkey and it was de-lish.

6. The Berbee Derby!

For the first time ever, I ventured off in freezing cold temps for a Thanksgiving morning race. I am so, so glad I did it, although I hope for warmer temps in the future. I couldn't feel my toes for half the race and ended up with swollen feet. Only a runner can appreciate this and vow to do it again sometime. I know, so weird.

7. Yes, we finally now have smartphones.

For the first time ever. Let's not talk about how far behind the times we are. Let's just enjoy the fact that I can, perhaps, blog from my phone soon. Good times ahead.

Much more on the list coming soon! Thank you for sharing this with me. It means so much more to have you all involved. I like stretching and growing with you. 

Happy December.