Friday, January 3

Being new

The sky is the lightest hint of pink this morning. Baby blue streaks poke through, and the winter white that blankets the ground makes the whole thing look soft and wonderful.

If it's going to be cold, let it at least be beautiful.

It's also the perfect type of morning for this:

I am not one to make a list of resolutions, and when I do, I'm not one to stick with them long. I like to keep my plans somewhat vague, which goes against every goal-setting dialogue I've ever heard. So this year I have put a few specific goals into place. But I can sum them up as such:

More gratitude. Much, much more.

Less selfishness. Much, much less.

And more room for God to move. Infinitely more. My goal is to simply get out of the way, and act when I know I'm supposed to act.

This is hard for me. I haven't unlocked the formula that shows me which steps to take, and when to sit. In a moment of decision, I freeze. I need time to process and listen. In a world that moves at lightning speeds, I don't always have that luxury.

But - more often than not - I do have mornings like these. That helps.

Another stumbling block is my obsessive need to know what's mapped out for me. To follow sequences, plans. To know the next step. While my heart desires a life of witnessing miracles and being part of change, my head seeks only sure-things.

But maybe not in 2014.

Right now, I relish in not knowing all the answers but in discovering them. My mind is open to change, to exploring. I caught myself the other day planning my next step - when the children are this age and when we have this amount of money. I realized how foolish I sounded to God.

As if I made the plans.

As if I knew what was best.

As if.

Already, in the short 3 days of this bright new year, I have let a few situations go. God knows better. He knows more. This book has helped - a reminder that if I take the quiet moments to read and connect, I can act with more confidence, in more faith.

Wishing you an inspiring, awe-creating, blessed, and truly "new" new year.

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