So I've been thinking.
I've read a great many blog posts in the past two weeks that have the "new year - new you" flair. Many are great posts where the authors have vowed to be more accepting of themselves, to believe that enough is truly enough. They are savoring small moments and helping time stand still more by slowing down. They have resolved to stop punishing themselves, comparing themselves, being anything other than themselves.
I love all of this.
And I'd be tempted to make many of the same resolutions. Except I can't. If I am honest with myself, I have tended toward these types of resolutions for several years now with the ultimate goal of seeking greater comfort for myself. They are good resolutions, but need to be grounded in the right reasons.
Usually I want life to be easier because it feels hard. It feels that way because I am running around in craziness, all wrapped up in things I shouldn't be. So of course it seems hard. And of course, I want to step back, slow down, and make better choices.
But my "step back and slow down" is usually code for "hide in your bubble until all the ugliness goes away."
It often doesn't go away. Because really, I haven't changed anything. Really, I am all about the challenges ending so I can "enjoy" life. Once a storm passes, though, I am still rooted in the same place.
Everything is the same - just more comfortable than it was before.
Well, here we go. Real change means being uncomfortable for a time. So it's time to get uncomfortable.
Like completing a 10-day cleanse that forced me to get rid of my most favorite foods in the world. Uncomfortable.
Like seeing a therapist. Uncomfortable.
Like being on Day 10 of kicking my wine-a-night habit for the longest time ever since 2011. Uncomfortable.
Like planning a couple of mission trips for 2015 that include going somewhere new and different and facing a lot of unknowns. Uncomfortable.
Thirteen days into the new year and I already venturing out of my bubble. But I am doing it because I believe God works in insane ways when you are uncomfortable. He breaks down barriers and hauls away the garbage and makes room for something beautiful to happen in a place that was cluttered with layers of comfort. And I am ready for that kind of insane.
Care to step out with me?