But you haven't really been on here in awhile.
Which was good ... and necessary so that my normal overly planned self could act on her occasionally spontaneous nature. But here we are, out of time, out of money, needing to get back into a healthier lifestyle.
Because I only like routines for a short time frame, I've always struggled with being disciplined. I tend to jump on and off a bandwagon rapidly, and justify it with saying crazy things like, But I like change.
But I've had this thing lately -- This feeling that if I died tomorrow, would I be satisfied with what I've done with my life?
Big, ole heavy thought. I know. But there it is, punching me in the gut now and again.
Lest you go off thinking I'm announcing a pilgrimage to foreign lands or a major change of direction in life, let me assure you that's not the case. I also don't have a bucket list. But there are things I want to do ... some for me, some for you. Some for those who aren't blessed regularly and need it most.
And to do this, I need to get my time back.
My sister-in-law recently sent each of us a wonderfully personalized card, sweet as can be. And I remembered when I used to do that for people, before I got caught up in a schedule that's managing me instead of the other way around. Before I got caught up in worry over things I don't need to. Before I became self-consumed (which happened long before summer).
And I realized: I don't want to lose any more time.
So first order of business is to take a break from blogging for a bit. (A legit, planned break - not one where I walk away from posting and feel guilty all the time). And, taking a page from a favorite blogger who put herself in internet detox for 40 days, I am going to walk away from constant online-ness.
So if I miss saying happy birthday on Facebook to you, please know that in my heart I am totally giving you major birthday love, friend. And if I don't answer emails right away, it's not me ignoring you. It's me practicing discipline. Finally.
I will definitely be back soon because I - heart - writing and need to do it more.
But first, a solid routine. Without that, I've learned, I won't go anywhere I want to go, am being called to go.
And you can't ignore a calling.
Life is good, make the most of it.