On a break

At times, the winters of our life need a little spring. I almost didn't take a break this year. Oh, but am I glad I did.

The kids and I ventured to visit the grandparents in Tennessee, and although it is not Costa Rica-hot right now like Scott is experiencing, we are enjoying a few luxuries previously unavailable to Wisconsinites.

Like grass. Seeing it for the first time in three months. Smelling freshly cut grass for the first time since October.

And we have been reintroduced to flowers. Color is blooming here.

I ran outside today in a t-shirt. I know ... you extra-hearty Northerners are OK doing this in 40-degree weather, but that's a no-go for me.

The sun is out on a fairly regular basis. Peyton is fishing; if you know him at all, you know he's happy.

My kids no longer have static in their hair. I can smell the humidity.

My parents are treating us like royalty, which means we eat good every night. I love meat again, at least the way Pappy cooks it on the grill.

And I have been reminded of something important: Even if we didn't have a place to go to escape the doldrums, it would have been vital to leave anyway. Even for a day. Even if the budget was tight. The change of scenery has woken us all from our long winter's nap.

And speaking of change of scenery ... this year we took a test-run of a cabin getaway in the Smokey's to see if we liked it.

Yep, we sure did.

We will be back. Who's in?

I hope your week was refreshing, as well. The snow is melting at home. This is a good start. Let the celebration of an event that brings our souls in harmony with His Love really bring Spring home to you.

XO

Looking forward to ...

I know it was crazy.

Even as I was stepping into my leggings and fumbling in the closet for my shoes, every inch of me was screaming, Don't do this. Please. I wanted to give in to The Voice, so badly. But I had already given her many victories recently and she was getting cocky.

So I grabbed my music, the fuzziest gloves I could find, and my kid's ear warmers. I dropped Peyton off at karate, ignored all the What are you doing? stares, and bolted out the door for a run.

these barely carried me back to the karate studio today.

It was 15 degrees out. My nose nearly fell off. My fingertips were numb, my lungs in shock. I went as far as I could handle and when I stopped, I felt amazing. Not just because I stopped, but because I did it. Sometimes doing the crazy, who-would-attempt-that? things make you feel powerful. Like, dang-I-got-this powerful.

Feeling powerful makes me feel alive. And feeling alive makes me realize all the good things going on right now.

So here's what I'm looking forward to:

Warmer runs
Um, just because I had a moment in the cold doesn't mean I'm not ready to wear shorts again when I run. So ready, in fact, because I am training for a half-marathon in May with one of my best friends and her sister. Laurie was always a great athlete, and I always wanted to be. Now we get to run together. Super excited about that!

Getting the heck out of Dodge
Did I mention it was 15 degrees? Get out now. Headed to Tennessee for some family time, cabin living, great food, fishing, shopping, and help with the kids. Score.

Date night before getting out of Dodge
Scott is headed to Costa Rica with high-schoolers, so since we won't see each other for a bit we will be attempting a night out together sometime this weekend. To watch basketball, of course. (And eat!)

Seeing who will win the Family Brackets Competition
And speaking of basketball ... all four of us fill out bracket sheets for the NCAA tourney. Let me clarify now that none of us watch college basketball at any other time during the season. We can't even watch highlights because we no longer have ESPN (gasp!) But this is always so fun for our competitive selves - especially me since I have won these a few times. And yes, there are bets on the line.

sam finishing her brackets. she has wisconsin in the final four.
such a loyal gal.

New reads
Books arriving any day now from Amazon for my airplane and cabin reading over Spring Break. So, so ready. I don't read anything heavy and thought-provoking at night because my brain likes to be entertained and I am not much of a TV gal. So I am starting with Beautiful Creatures.

Eh, what can I say?

The entire month of April
You know why? Because we have a few fun things planned and everything else is unplanned. Open, except for fun. And while we have our busy moments, they will be manageable and balanced with a good dose of good times.

adirondack chairs getting put to use soon. i can feel it.

I hope your list of things you are looking forward to is three times this long. Enjoy and be blessed this coming week!

She did it

Don't you love when you see your kids grow right in front of your eyes?

I needed to see it this weekend. I didn't know how badly I needed it, but I did.

And she delivered.

In August 2011, my little Firecracker joined a local all-star cheer team. That was my first introduction to the cheer world, so I didn't know what to expect. That very first competition was an eye-opener. Intense. Loud. Sparkly. Rockin'. You know, all those things I am not. I didn't picture myself in this environment, but it was a perfect fit for Sam.

When you're a mom, you man-up and join the party.

She fell in love. She worked hard, learned a few new tricks, then moved up to the next level for the 2013 season.

two seasons of cheer.

But Sam started the season with complications. People have been telling Scott and I that age 10 is the "season of anxiety" for many girls. But for my girl, it has been intense x 1 million. I don't say that lightly. Without going into too many details, we have struggled.

Early in this season she had moments of tears after practice and moments of peace, but she seemed to lose some of the joy. She was hesitant to continue, but we explained that a commitment is a commitment, and we would see it through. I said this before I fully knew what this was costing her emotionally. And maybe if I had been more aware, I would have let her leave the team.

But I didn't. And I am so glad.

Because Sam and I both learned that hard work is sometimes painful. We learned that the greater the difficulty, the more sweet the success. We learned to overcome. We learned that acquiring new skills is hard, but executing them well is the epitome of joy.

And one of my favorite lessons came this weekend.

You see, when we started this way back in 2011, we wanted Sam to learn what it was like to be a part of a team. This was a major driving factor for us agreeing to let her try cheer. To work together to accomplish something great. To put aside differences to achieve an end goal where every teammate plays a critical role. With cheer, it's not just about being able to do a skill, it's about being able to do a skill beautifully. Everyone needs to do their part to make it happen.

In the past, Sam has been a solo act. She's extremely independent - a fact that will serve her well in life, but only when married with the ability to work well with others. There have been times this year I wondered how well she was accomplishing this, given her personal struggles. How much did she feel joined to this team she worked so hard to be a part of? 

And then this past Sunday, Sam came out with her teammates after their very last performance together. Ten times this season they wore those uniforms, exploded onto the performance floor, and gave it all they had. After this past weekend, five of the girls aged-out of the team and will be moving up next year. It was emotional for them.

And it was emotional for Sam. This girl, who I've never seen shed a tear over an experience ending, cried and said, "I don't want to leave this team. I don't want it to be over."

Yes.

2012-2013 season. keep growing, girls. 

She got it. It's good to miss something that had such a huge impact. To mourn the changing of relationships. She's not just a solo act, but a girl who learned the unifying effects of teamwork.

Our choice to allow Sam to cheer has come with sacrifices for our family. That lifestyle choice is not for everyone; for awhile, I wasn't sure it was for me. But there will always be sacrifice on the path to growth as we parent these children and help them become who they were designed to be.

For this season of our life, that took the form of glittery bows, stunting in the pools many weekends, camaraderie with like-minded parents (moms, why don't I have photos of us?), and rockin' out the routines.

Cheer on, girl. You got this.

PS - I could have added a significant tangent to this post, but will save it for another day. It involves coaches and the HUGE sacrifice they make to pour into children. I know because I am married to one (volleyball, not cheer. But that would be something to see ...). If you don't coach, you can't imagine. It is life-consuming, but future-giving. Major thanks to those who have seen Sam's potential and guided her for the past two seasons - Amber, Zach, Steve, and Ari - and all the CW family.

No worries

I tend to flippantly use the phrase no worries in response to any number of scenarios. As in when a friend says, can we reschedule our run today? and I text back, no worries. Or a co-worker is late with an article for a newsletter. No worries.

Sometimes I mean it, sometimes I don't. At times, I don't know I didn't mean it until I realize I'm deep in anxious thought over the matter.

More often than I care to admit, I am worrying. If I am quiet, you can assume that 85% of the time I am over-thinking something. And many times I am not aware I am doing it. I knew this was a big problem when, recently, I stopped my talkative daughter in the car from sharing her long story because I couldn't think above it. I couldn't multi-task handling the worry-thoughts with being a good listener. Ouch.

Worry makes me tired. There will be times when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and see that bone-weary look in my eyes. They hide nothing. Just a glimpse of that tired soul scares me. Because I may not be physically tired, but emotionally spent, mentally drained. I am too young to feel that old.

This week, I happened to read the best-timed devotional ever in a new book I picked up (Jesus Calling. This is an official recommendation.) It's written from the perspective of Jesus talking directly to us. Especially liked this: "A life lived close to Me will never be dull or predictable. Expect each day to contain surprises! Resist your tendency to search for the easiest route through the day. Be willing to follow where I lead. No matter how steep or treacherous the path before you, the safest place to be is by My side."

Well, according to this, there is no room for worry. None. Because apparently the day is not up to me and will include twists and turns that I might not like. Some of you are already really good at acknowledging this; I'm always impressed by your ability to roll with the punches. Sure, I might belt out a hearty No worries! when I have to walk a path unplanned but I might be totally lying. Not blatantly lying, but more like lying to myself. In my head the wheels are already churning with worry even before it surfaces.

But what if those wheels just stopped.

And I didn't sweat the next car repair. I let a deadline pass without panic. Had confidence my daughter's day will go exactly as He has planned, even if there's trouble. Believed a decision was the best one I could make at the time. Was confident in my relationships. Was sure the schedule would work itself out.

Really, what do we have to worry about?

I loved the first part of the devotional, which said, "Try to view each day as an adventure carefully planned out by your Guide." It struck me that's the reason I started this blog - to find those daily adventures put in our path. I headed on this journey to abandon things like worry and over-planning.

So, here's what happened yesterday, the afternoon I read that little chapter. The sun finally peeked out after a strange morning of rain-snow and clouds. I ushered the kids outside. Peyton and I played football. Sam took to her scooter.

We may have been walking our cats around on leashes outside, but I don't really want to admit that.

Anyway - early in the week it had rained, then froze again. A sled outside had collected the water and formed a pretty slick ice sculpture that, when dumped out of the sled fully intact, looked like a surfboard. So. cool.

The kids went bananas. They posed with the ice-board. They propped it up and protected its base with snow. They slid little figurines down it, pretending they were snowboarding. At one point, I said, "Hey, I'll pay you $20 if you go get your bathing suit on and run around outside."

Now, it was about 30 degrees. There's still too much snow on the ground. Samantha is usually the one who takes me up on the wear-shorts-in-the-winter kind of dares, so I expected to pay to see her in her bikini. But from the corner, young Peyton - who hates being cold - piped up and said, "I'll do it! For $20!" 

Alrighty then. He ran up and tugged on his swim trunks on and swim shirt (he is never shirtless), and out he came to pose with the surfboard. Then, for good measure, I made him run around the house twice. After that, he decided he was warm enough to stay outside in that get-up for another 20 minutes.

hang 10 baby. surf's up, life is good.

Adventure.

That's what God delivered yesterday. It felt good to live in that moment, despite the deadlines closing in on me for evening activities. For 45 minutes, they didn't exist.

I have a feeling every moment is supposed to feel like that. Present. Rich, full, and fun. Not in our hands, but in His.

Can't wait to hear your adventures from the weekend.

The rude awakening

This has been quite an interesting season of eating for our family.

It started sometime in the fall and revved up significantly every weekend in January/February, thanks primarily to cheer competitions and volleyball tourneys where the typical fare includes pizza, nachos, ice cream, and free hotel breakfasts.

Along the way, we've picked up some bad habits, like eating larger portion sizes. One day last week, I finally became curious about the amount of calories in my "normal" portion size.

Holy. Smokin'. Toledo.

I feel incredibly naive. Mind-blowing for this poor girl.

I'm a visual learner, so it helped me to actually count out chips to document the tragedy. Let's take a look at a pictorial, shall we?

140 cal, 13 chips. For real? Before guacamole?
Before buffalo chicken dip? Unfair.

Also 140 cal, 1/3 cup. I wonder how many thirds I consumed in
one day with the last bag ...

Love me some butter in just about everything. But that little
tablespoon is 100 cal. Say it ain't so.

You see, I always knew I was pouring too much cereal into the
bowl, but I didn't know it was 2 portion sizes worth. Truth
be told, I usually pour more but I ran out for my test. Oops.

Ooh, a snack I can handle at 110 cal. Wonder what chocolate
would add to that count? I dream of sweet and salty.

So obviously I am not a diligent eater. I really like food so I don't over-think it. I would venture to say many of us eat like that. But now I am thinking about it -- not in a "I will never touch this food again" kind of way but in a "I don't want to be naive anymore" kind of way. Now if only my grumbling tummy will cooperate when I don't feed it the usual amount. The test is on.

On the flip side, here's the other problem: When I am training to run a race, I struggle with knowing how much more to eat to give me the most energy/recovery from long runs. Apparently there is a formula for this, but I've never been good at math. My formula goes something like this: I'm starving x look, there's a muffin! / hey, i ran today = eat.

I just eat, usually more often and usually whatever I want because it can be justified by a long run. This exercise has caused me to re-examine the quality of the calories I consume. For example, a trip to Potbelly's after an 8-miler may not be the best choice. I mean, once in awhile it is. Maybe even twice in a while, because I love it so. But if I want to achieve any sort of results, I should probably consider some vegetables.

And can I just say to those of you who have been more closely monitoring your portion sizes and calorie counts -- well done, friends! You are way more aware than I. And if I have cooked you dinner in my home lately, let me apologize for serving you high-calorie meals laden with butter.

At least you knew how much you should take, right?

Eat well, friends.